Even if you can’t relate, chances are someone around you still feels unprepared to go back to normal. Learning how to help them feel better in all this uncertainty can make this transition easier on everyone. That’s anxiety. “Anxiety can be a signal that something is important to you, and if you’re trying to get rid of anxiety entirely, dismissing or minimizing it can be unhelpful,” he says. Fear and anxiety evolved as a way to draw attention to potentially dangerous situations, but it becomes a disorder when it begins disrupting your day-to-day life. Getting anxious when you get an alert about suspicious usage on your debit card is healthy and normal. Feeling dread when a party invitation shows up in your inbox is a different thing. Part of the problem is that anxiety can be self-reinforcing. For example, if you suffer from social anxiety, canceling party plans will give you immediate relief. But over time, that creates a habit of avoidance that prevents you from learning to manage anxiety and live your life in a healthier way. And it’s not only canceling plans at the last minute. Having a little too much to drink at gatherings is also a type of avoidance, as is making an appearance early on and leaving when the room begins to fill up, or spending the entire time on your phone. Being open and patient with anyone struggling with anxiety can definitely ease their transition. “There’s going to be an adjustment phase, and people with preexisting mental health difficulties may have more trouble,” he says. Instead, asking somebody how they’ve been and letting them talk is the best option. This is especially true if you haven’t seen them for a while. “Letting the person take the lead in what is and is not helpful for them can allow people to feel more in control of the situation, which may help decrease their anxiety about opening up,” says Kelly Heft, a licensed mental health counselor.
Be open and non-judgmental
You may think you know what a person is going through. But you have to keep in mind that you may not know the whole story, or that what may not look like a big deal from the outside might still cause a lot of distress for someone else. “People’s minds and bodies respond differently to input, and it’s not a matter of ‘strength’ or ‘weakness,’” Gunnia says. “There are factors from your upbringing that may impact how you perceive new input and how your body processes your autonomic responses.” You cannot know exactly what someone else has dealt with, so acknowledging what they went through will do more than trying to point out that it isn’t so bad. Try using phrases like “I can see how that must have been hard for you” or “Is there something I can do to help?”. Instead, ask what they might need from you, or if they want to discuss what’s worked for you in similar situations. Above all, we’ll need to be patient with each other, and accept that people have changed in the wake of the pandemic. We’re going to have to get to know each other and ourselves again, and that’s going to be a process for all of us.
